Sunday, May 8, 2011

Birthmothers Day

The day before Mothers day every year is Birthmothers day. This is my 3rd Birthmothers/Mothers day. As time goes on it gets a little easier, but its still a very hard day for me. This is my first Birthmothers Day that I will not spend it with my favorite little family and get to see Evelyn. It has really hit me this week. its been 2 years 6 months 7 days since I placed her in the arms of her Mother Lynzie. I miss her every day. They have been in Boston since August 2010 and be heading on to their next adventure in San Francisco July 1st.

Yes I am expecting my own little man in just a short 13 weeks and I will be able to celebrate Mother's Day with him, but as I think about Birthmothers day this year, its just as hard as the past 2 years have been. I find myself on sundays in sacrament meeting during the time when the young men are passing out the special Mother's Day treat I still don't feel I should stand. Yes I am a Mother I still see Evelyn as my daughter but I am a different kind of mother I am a Birthmother, a special Mother.

Braden made sure this was a special day for me. It started out sleeping in, he cleaned the house earlier this week so I could relax today. I woke up to flowers with my favortie candy and soda.

Then I meet up with him at work for lunch and a cute little cafe and got a big tub of gelato from The Queen Creek Olive Mill, the we headed to dinner at  La Grande Orange in phoenix, this resturant has special meaning to me, its a place Danny and Lynzie took me for dinner at one of our many times together while I was pregnant. I remember the conversation and where everyone sat and what we ordered. They gave me a gift card for Christmas this past year for La Grande Orange and I am excited to celebrate Birthmothers day at this special place and reflect on the past 2 1/2 years and where I have come from that point.

The highlight of my day was when The Allens called me and I got to hear sweet Evelyn sing to me.. I was overcome with emotion, it meant so much for them to remember me today. It was my first Birthmothers Day wiuthout them and having them call made my day even better. It was a little hard but I reflected on the reason I made this stuff choice in my life. Evelyn and the Allens have blessed my life so much, Evelyn helped me get back to where I needed to be, where I was the happiest, The Allens have blessed my life by always supporting my decisions and allowing me the opportunity to be a part of their family and see Evelyn grow up and for her to know who I am.

"A Birthmother puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart" Skye Hardwick

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