16 months........ one day 16 years

I know its only been 16 months since I had my little angel and placed her in the arms of her Mom and Dad, going thru the 9 months of pregnancy without the birthfather around or any family around, just a few close friends, I look back and I want my daughter to see me as a hero, chance to have everything she deserved to have. I know my daughter will understand the reason behind my choice. I love her with all my heart. It may be 16 months now, but as a planner and someone who looks at what the future will hold, I sit back and think of what she will be doing  when she is 16 yrs old. If I will be in contact as much as I am now,if she will know her half brothers and sisters, what she will think of my decison?  I know her parents will tell her she was adopted and that I did it out of love, That I DID love her, but I hope one day she can come and talk to me and I can her my story face to face. She has a video that her Mom had wanted to do since she was born. We did a video interview with me and L.Allen so Evie can have something to watch from me until they day she comes and talks to me and I hope she does. I love her with all my heart and I love the Allen’s.

This song means alot to me and I use to sing it to hear when I was pregnant everynight before we went to bed.

(Evelyn 2 months old)

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger

Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about


It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes


(Martina Mcbride - In My Daughter's Eyes)